Ghost day (Ranting)

Today is Ghost Day...

I said it unwittingly loud in my mind.

-Whose ghost?, asked the Elf.

I growled noiselesly, there we go again!

-Eh... nobody's and anybody's, I had to answer or die.

-But then, the little rascal would not let it alone, but then,
how is it "a" ghost?

-A ghost, is a ghost, is a ghost!!! I hammered trying to close the argument, to no avail.

-How do you become a ghost? asked my elf.

I knew he knew but as always I am mincemeat in his mindhands.

-I am no ghost, I said sternly, trying to deviate his line of thought... Maybe it is easier to stop the moon from circling the Earth.

He giggle as a teenager, sometimes I think he is underage!

-Not you, silly, a person.

-Well... first «that person» must die, I tried desperately to find a reason to end the discussion, well, first «that person» must die and then there must be an administrative goof somewhere in the next life, «that person» cannot go to heaven and «that person» cannot go to hell, so «that person» becomes a... Ghost! That's it!

As always, it was a mistake:

Next life! What you mean "next life"! It is preposterous!

He must have found that word somewhere in my archive and was trying to make his point about my being a nerd.

- Why you think it is SILLY? I asked trying to make him go down on syllables. You see, we change sides easily enough.

-Such a PREPOSTEROUS idea!, he retaliated, when have you been in the next life?.

-Never, I recognized, but then again I am not dead yet!

-There ain't a next life, he said. What happens is that you change tracks.

Tracks?... changing tracks?? dreading his meaning I choose the easy way of correction:

-Is not, I pointed, trying to hurt his grammar ego and start a new discussion.

I should know my elf!

-That's what I said, repeated the elf, there ain't!

-You see, he went on, a person must die to become a ghost, and so it must go to the "next death", not the next life!

-But, I tried to keep in touch with reality, how can you be alive in the next death?, I mean... Ah!!, next death?!!!

-Nobody is alive in the next death!, the elf retorted triumphantly.

-But, but a ghost... I said somewhat incoherently.

-A ghost is a dead person, ain't it so?

I let that go.

-Yes, dead person, I said, forgetting the old wives' tales about animal-ghosts and things-ghosts.

-Well, there you are!


I swallowed a Valium and a Prozac, drank a glass of water and refused to listen anything else...

Just before I was lost in the dense haze of unconsciousness a thought emerged from my subconscious: Wouldn't all this be a big joke, a huge pun, concocted by Elf?!


© 2007 Soother.