My days are full of light and laugh.
I call it happiness. Then, I try to understand happiness, and that is a mistake.
I am happy! It seems as if I am content, but I am sure it is not the same. I can be happy and immersed in big distress at the same time. This seems an impossible feat, but is true. What I cannot be is content while immerse in big distress, then, happiness and contentment are not the same thing!
If I look into the word meaning: Content comes from a family of words that express delimitation as in Contain, so when I am content I am restrained to myself which in turn makes me feel satisfied with the environment: I am into myself and that's all I need.
What about happy? Its means, chance occurrence, comes from the old word hap as chance, as in luck, an archaic form of good fortune. This is something broader than content.
We usually get confused and when sad we think we are unhappy. Far from it! Sadness is that feeling derived from unpleasantness and this latter is a by product of our selfishness.
Yes, I hear my own brain crying: I am not selfish, (am I ?) so your last definition is not true since I feel sad now and again and I am not selfish.
But then again, my brain is wrong.
If I were not selfish I would be dead since long ago, and when I analyze the reasons I feel sad I always find it is because something is out of the order I want to put the world in!
Reasons to be sad: this business, which I am interested in, went wrong, my health is not as I would like it to be, my best friend betrayed me, the government is making my life miserable, I feel sorry about a problem my neighbor has, you name it, we cannot get around "me" "my", or "I", it is the subject! The situation just revolve around my poor dissatisfied self. Then, how do you define this situation?, undoubtedly: «self centered».
What makes it complicated is that this is not an abnormal behavior, the world spin around our self, we can only grasp any meaning through our body and mind, that is our self; and express our feelings through our mind and body, which is... yes you guessed it!
There is a difference between what I just wrote and happiness, the latter is totally independent from feelings, I may be sad but perfectly happy...
Come again? Spell this oxymoron!
To be happy is a way, a trail, not an end, you do not feel happy, you are happy and only in this context can you recognize happiness as a method of life, even I dare say we can decide to be happy, no matter what!
When you are contented, in the etymological sense of the word, you are held as a whole, you are neither excised not divided and you know your wholeness. You are satisfied, but are happy?
The base of happiness, is not contentment, but of course, we can realize that if we are basically happy (a soul status), being content is easily recognized since happiness is the natural base for our feelings so we readily accept our content (a mind status, a feeling), that thing that makes us feel whole.
This psychological structure makes us aware of a real surprising fact: once you have happiness tightly sitting as the base in the core of your self, it can support several different feelings, such as: joy, elation, rejoicing, delight, sadness, depression, despondency, apathy, despair, and in the middle of all these feelings you still are happy!
Of course, it is easier to let our feelings command our life and think we "feel" happy or miserable following the whims of our hormones or our responses to reality. It is easier but it is pointless, our stupid frenzy in the face of our feelings or facing reality moves us around as a crazy leaf in an uncontrolled gale and in the heat of our wanton desires, the yearning for things, tangibles or abstracts, disorderly craved and in haste, rules our life leaving us exhausted and disgusted; never satisfied, always confused about ourselves.
Then we *feel* unhappy, but this is a feeling, we are not unhappy, we are unsatisfied, discontent, even angry and revolted at the reality we are living with, that is true, but in that environment as unlikely as it may seem we can be happy simply because happiness finds its being in itself, forgetting "desires" and "wants".
Yes, it is difficult for us (pampered by our actual way of life, where everything points to get whatever we want "right now"), to ignore the advice of media to use "the right" to live our own life "now", wasting our efforts running behind "newly created" needs by a society that think nothing of (or worse yet, despise) duties and responsibilities.
So we put our selves first, leaving behind everybody else, even those we owe natural care: sons, daughters and relatives. All this is easily seen in the way we express when we try to say something about ourselves and some other person: "me and Pete". Just look who goes first!
This manner of being is a sure way to be unhappy even if we get everything we want since there is a small (but crucial) thing we leave out: "the moral right to be human" otherwise said: Love
© 2007 Soother.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
I love Opera and Elf
Reflecting over my last blogs titled «I love Opera, I and II» Elf commented smugly:
-You had a long tirade but I am not sure you made your point! Anyway, you do not need to strive anymore, I can understand where you are driving at.
-You can, can you?! I asked sarcastically.
-Yes, he went on undeterred by my remark, look, what you try to say is that music must be an imbricated slatebody into the tissues of your being. But it always is!, if it is not then you have just noise, maybe coherent, ordered noise, but just noise! Now, who can judge when this noise start to gain the state of music in your awareness?
-You asked me, he kept pressing, if your mind is yours, well, to your surprise you will find that your mind is of your hormones, your internal organs and the external environment more than yours in the sense that you are the driver of most things yours and as in the case of a car, you can tell it where to go, but little or nothing can you tell the motor how to obtain energy. This it does just by the way it is done and following the health of each of its parts!
So does your mind, you can try and develop deep thoughts about any subject, but that’s all, if you are ill or distracted by anything in your body or environment your mind will react accordingly. This is true, believe me! And… where does this leave us?… under new unpredictable reactions!
Elf seemed buried in deep thoughts, his eyes were veiled and he looked as in a trance.
-You know, he went on, this is not just coincidence, it was done so as to keep your free will in a highly unstable environment…
Suddenly, he seemed to recover, his eyes returned to their normal brightness and with a bashful smile (something outlandish on his countenance) he said almost in a whisper:
-Oh! forget it!
-What I mean, kept going the gnome recovering totally, is that you are talking about something you have no knowledge about, from the control room of your mind (that is you, the person) your feelings “seem” to react to all those things the way you described, and of course, they do. It is true, absolutely true you feel it so. But, and this is a BIG BUT, you cannot project these perceptions as a mathematical equation over the rest of human beings. You see, the beauty of it?!
I was totally confused, didn’t know what was he talking about and so I said:
-No I don’t, and what are talking about?!
-Please, Elf seemed hurt, try and be intelligent! I am talking about how people react to music and how any one has control of “some” part of the surrounding space and personal reactions! You seem so sure that those “raucous kindled voices, high pitched noises, and repeated beat” cannot awake subtle, inherent feelings because they don’t in yourself, but you forget where those feelings come from. You can talk about yourself but never about other people sensations!
I was astounded. How can an Elf, and one who lives in MY MIND know about the production of feelings in other people minds!
I inhaled deeply and counter attacked.
-What do you know about other people feelings?, barely can reach and learn about my feelings since you live immersed in them, but…
-Stop it! Elf was deadly serious and with his little hand showing his palm toward my mind-eyes.
-Stop it! he repeated. The one who knows nothing is you! Can you tell me who am I?, or, for that matter, can you tell me who YOU are? He looked real mad, I’ve never seen him like that.
-When you open judgement over some other people, the sprite went on, what you are doing is wrong. I know, it is a kind of emotional elation to find your tastes are part of what is called “superior cultural environment” and you do not relish in those other common based fancies that do not belong into this definition, but it is only because of the egregious ego you, all of you human beings, possess since the… err… ehem… Well, never mind! but remember! You are NOT better than anyone else only because you are more knowledgeable, more educated, more beautiful or more whatever than those anyone elses…
I was dumbfounded, my mind was making a big effort to understand what was the little puck talking about, egregious ego? possessed since… when? Was he really preaching on me? So:
-Are you preaching on me? I said making believe as much rage as I could muster, but still bewildered enough as not to be mad, only trying not to loose ground through my own confusion.
-Preach?!… preach?! he was getting dark red on the rim of his pointed ears, what the heck you talking about?
Well, at least he was asking the same I asked him a while ago!
-I am not preaching no one! (here we go, you know, when mad he forget his grammar), I am stating a fact and showing to your smug face those things you make better and… wrong! Sure, you like Opera better’n other music, so what? it is wonderful, I know it, to feel those things you describe, but it is so only because you are made as you are made! What if other people like Heavy Metal?, they may or they may not feel the same but that is not determined by knowledge, education, beauty or anything else, the final reason is hormonal, environmental and lastly slightly touched by the mind’s owner psyche. So, stop feeling the need to be the Knight of Music. Just show your tastes, explain them to others and let anyone else decide what they like or not!
Another balloon punctured! this darn Elf is always successful when it means to destroy well concocted theories. OK, Opera is better than anything else… to me! In the ultimate stage, who am I to decide there are better art in one expression in detriment of another? I had to recognize Elf is right and even if deep inside myself I still “knew” or better “know” Opera is the only way to enjoy music, I couldn’t say it was a generic feeling. As always, our estrangement from one another makes human beings so difficult to fathom with our own measures. Even if a word means the same to anyone, not always that “same” is equally understood by everybody.
© 2007 Soother.
-You had a long tirade but I am not sure you made your point! Anyway, you do not need to strive anymore, I can understand where you are driving at.
-You can, can you?! I asked sarcastically.
-Yes, he went on undeterred by my remark, look, what you try to say is that music must be an imbricated slatebody into the tissues of your being. But it always is!, if it is not then you have just noise, maybe coherent, ordered noise, but just noise! Now, who can judge when this noise start to gain the state of music in your awareness?
-You asked me, he kept pressing, if your mind is yours, well, to your surprise you will find that your mind is of your hormones, your internal organs and the external environment more than yours in the sense that you are the driver of most things yours and as in the case of a car, you can tell it where to go, but little or nothing can you tell the motor how to obtain energy. This it does just by the way it is done and following the health of each of its parts!
So does your mind, you can try and develop deep thoughts about any subject, but that’s all, if you are ill or distracted by anything in your body or environment your mind will react accordingly. This is true, believe me! And… where does this leave us?… under new unpredictable reactions!
Elf seemed buried in deep thoughts, his eyes were veiled and he looked as in a trance.
-You know, he went on, this is not just coincidence, it was done so as to keep your free will in a highly unstable environment…
Suddenly, he seemed to recover, his eyes returned to their normal brightness and with a bashful smile (something outlandish on his countenance) he said almost in a whisper:
-Oh! forget it!
-What I mean, kept going the gnome recovering totally, is that you are talking about something you have no knowledge about, from the control room of your mind (that is you, the person) your feelings “seem” to react to all those things the way you described, and of course, they do. It is true, absolutely true you feel it so. But, and this is a BIG BUT, you cannot project these perceptions as a mathematical equation over the rest of human beings. You see, the beauty of it?!
I was totally confused, didn’t know what was he talking about and so I said:
-No I don’t, and what are talking about?!
-Please, Elf seemed hurt, try and be intelligent! I am talking about how people react to music and how any one has control of “some” part of the surrounding space and personal reactions! You seem so sure that those “raucous kindled voices, high pitched noises, and repeated beat” cannot awake subtle, inherent feelings because they don’t in yourself, but you forget where those feelings come from. You can talk about yourself but never about other people sensations!
I was astounded. How can an Elf, and one who lives in MY MIND know about the production of feelings in other people minds!
I inhaled deeply and counter attacked.
-What do you know about other people feelings?, barely can reach and learn about my feelings since you live immersed in them, but…
-Stop it! Elf was deadly serious and with his little hand showing his palm toward my mind-eyes.
-Stop it! he repeated. The one who knows nothing is you! Can you tell me who am I?, or, for that matter, can you tell me who YOU are? He looked real mad, I’ve never seen him like that.
-When you open judgement over some other people, the sprite went on, what you are doing is wrong. I know, it is a kind of emotional elation to find your tastes are part of what is called “superior cultural environment” and you do not relish in those other common based fancies that do not belong into this definition, but it is only because of the egregious ego you, all of you human beings, possess since the… err… ehem… Well, never mind! but remember! You are NOT better than anyone else only because you are more knowledgeable, more educated, more beautiful or more whatever than those anyone elses…
I was dumbfounded, my mind was making a big effort to understand what was the little puck talking about, egregious ego? possessed since… when? Was he really preaching on me? So:
-Are you preaching on me? I said making believe as much rage as I could muster, but still bewildered enough as not to be mad, only trying not to loose ground through my own confusion.
-Preach?!… preach?! he was getting dark red on the rim of his pointed ears, what the heck you talking about?
Well, at least he was asking the same I asked him a while ago!
-I am not preaching no one! (here we go, you know, when mad he forget his grammar), I am stating a fact and showing to your smug face those things you make better and… wrong! Sure, you like Opera better’n other music, so what? it is wonderful, I know it, to feel those things you describe, but it is so only because you are made as you are made! What if other people like Heavy Metal?, they may or they may not feel the same but that is not determined by knowledge, education, beauty or anything else, the final reason is hormonal, environmental and lastly slightly touched by the mind’s owner psyche. So, stop feeling the need to be the Knight of Music. Just show your tastes, explain them to others and let anyone else decide what they like or not!
Another balloon punctured! this darn Elf is always successful when it means to destroy well concocted theories. OK, Opera is better than anything else… to me! In the ultimate stage, who am I to decide there are better art in one expression in detriment of another? I had to recognize Elf is right and even if deep inside myself I still “knew” or better “know” Opera is the only way to enjoy music, I couldn’t say it was a generic feeling. As always, our estrangement from one another makes human beings so difficult to fathom with our own measures. Even if a word means the same to anyone, not always that “same” is equally understood by everybody.
© 2007 Soother.
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